Monday, December 6, 2010


I am going to start this post and see how far I get. I probably should write this some other time, because I am already crying, but here goes. Do you know what Sensory Processing Disorder is? No? Neither did I until a few months ago.
One of my boys, who I will call s.h (superhero), is dealing with spd. A mild form, so mild that the occupational therapist doesn't need to see him again. But this mild spd is still rocking our world.
Last week, s.h. wore clothing for 2 hours from Monday through Thursday. Two hours. As the temperature dropped, as he took meds for bronchitis, my beautiful boy couldn't handle the feeling of clothing other than his underwear. They tickle. They have tickled since he was 32 months old. It has been a long journey.
Tags need to be cut out of shirts. His snow boots are the only shoes he has worn for months. He will wear only one style of socks, of which we have 4 pairs. He now refuses to wear a coat, refuses to layer clothing, is unable to handle the feel, the tickle...
"Mom, will I go to school at Christmas?"
no, not yet.
"But mom, will I be grown up at Christmas?"
well, you will be older than you are today.
"But mom! Will the tickle go away at Christmas? Will it go away????"
Why am I sharing this with you? Many reasons. This blog is about my life, and this has consumed my life and changed what is normal.
I am sharing this so that you will understand why s.h. may be wearing the same outfit he wore last week, the same clothes he has been in all week, and why we are simply thankful that he has clothes on. I am sharing this so that if I fail to smile at you you won't be offended, but realize that we may have spent the last 40 minutes before church trying to get a shirt, or pants, or shoes, on a child that wants so desperately for the tickle to go away...but it won't. And he can't make it go away, and we can't make it go away.
I am sharing this so that if you have ever judged a parent for their parenting decisions, as I have, that you will recognize that there may be more going on here than you can see. You may not see a parent crying inside because she doesn't know how to help her son. How to give her son the wings he needs to fly. Doesn't know if her son is ever going to be able to go to school...or play in the snow...So many many ups and downs...
...but there is a child asleep in his bed right now that is so loved, so delighted in, such a blessing...and this is simply a part of our journey with him.......


Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you guys. I hope things get easier and that you have many many more good days that difficult ones.

Daryl said...

Deeply moved by your post Charity -shed some tears! For s.h. yes, but also with gratitude for you and Delton! You have no idea what a blessing you two are in the way you parent our grandchildren. You may not be aware of the grace as you parent yet it is so evident to us. You are doing so well!
Dad Lehman

Sabrina said...

Charity, thank you for sharing. My mother's heart hurts for your mother's heart. I am sorry that your Super Hero is having to face this challenge. He is such an incredible and gifted young man. I will be praying for you, Delton and your Super Hero.

Anonymous said...

SuperHero is super blessed to have you and Delton as parents. I'll be praying for you.

Eric and April said...

Praying and crying for/with you. . . reminds me of a little boy I grew to love that I taught swimming lessons. The water was a huge feat for him to conquer and he was such a brave little boy. I was amazed at how he grew in trust, of not just the water but of me, as his instructor. Keep it up! Your patience and love will take him farther than imagined.

Eric and April said...

This little boy suffered from acute SPD.