Catching Up

Bear with me. This post has been a long time in coming. Stick with me as I ramble, or check out my fb page  if you struggle with staying focused... :)
Colson is 6 weeks old. The baby that I carried for nine months, that I felt would never come...is now a month and a half old. I am still amazed at how quickly time has passed.
Labor is still fresh in my mind and at the same time a blur. My water broke at 1 a.m., 1:05 a.m. to be exact. A complete surprise. My first clue that labor was here. By the time we had finished packing our bags and I had showered, contractions were 2 minutes apart and I was fighting (and losing the fight) to keep my composure through each one. My poor townhouse neighbors.
We arrived at the hospital at 3:30 a.m., and my eyes stayed closed almost entirely from the moment I arrived in the delivery room until Colson was here, a mere 1 hour later. After Colson was born, a nurse said something about the labor. I asked her- Oh, were you here for that? She laughed at me. Yes, I was.
My labor was 3 1/2 hours long. Wonderful, some say, and I would have thought it beautiful had I not experienced it. The transitions of labor that I had experienced over the course of 12 hours with my other boys came within 3 1/2 hours. A train barreling down...no chance to catch  my breathe...Colson was here, and I was shaking with the intensity of the last few hours. Exhausted, drained...but then there was Colson. What joy!!
Colson has been such a blessing. A head of black hair- unique. His features- unique. Like ours, yet all his own. He cries, fills his diaper, smiles, rolls over...He is like my other boys, but I have forgotten so much of this stage. Each development is new. Each stage leaves me remembering what I had forgotten.
3 children. 3 boys. The transition to this new number has been huge, a larger jump than when Asher arrived. Suddenly I feel like a mom, and the craziness that I heard about and thought I understood is now a reality. Chaos. Fatigue. A simple lack of time to fold the load of laundry that was in the middle of the living room...for two days. A return of energy, making me feel like I had pre-pregnancy, and yet realizing that every bit of this energy is required of me throughout the day. More laundry, more activity, more...more...more.
The urgent is what is required of me right now. Diapers. Meals. Tears wiped. Clothes folded. Toys picked up. Books read to listening ears. Baths given. Kitchen cleaned...and so much more. To expect more of myself, to walk in guilt for the extras that are being neglected, is something I have to let go. To refuse to walk in.

An intense time? By all means, yes. A difficult time? In some ways, definately. How can you be prepared to be ever pulled in a million directions? A bad time? Are you kidding? I have three amazing boys, a wonderful husband, the grace of God, and a future and a hope. Life is good, and I am enjoying every moment. LOL (definately not EVERY moment!)

A Beautiful Life

First bath daddy gave Colson!

Precious moment

My baby...

Can't get enough of the little guy!

Some mommy time

Better than tv!

Peekaboo!

Bath time

Mom, he's so cute!

Pics of our family...

More Pics

Some pictures...

Asher LOVES to drive. It is hard to get him in or out of our van without him climbing into the driver seat and driving. In this picture, he is asking, "I drive? I drive?"

Looking for bugs is the boys new favorite pasttime. We have a bughouse in our living room, housing roly-polys, a salamander or two, slugs, and perhaps one or two other insects I am not aware of. :)

It's raining. Mmmmmm!

"Look mom! A roly poly!! Did you like roly-poly's when you were little, mom? Why not? Do you want to hold it, mom?

Delton and his boys around Asher's 2nd birthday!

The Natives Are Getting Restless

I invited some people over for supper, then realized I might be in over my head...

:)

Big Steps

Okay, so this is a strange shot, but look at the majesty of the tree. The ocean is in the background. We spent time at this beach while in Georgia. There were two child friendly playgrounds that captured the boy's attention. We were planning on taking two days to travel home, leaving Friday morning, but the impending snow storm changed our plans and we left Thursday night. We hit flurries in WV, but had no road trouble. We are so thankful we made it home before the snow dumped on us!!

Tomorrow evening, Delton is being ordained at Lifegate. This is a new step for us, a big step. I have so many thoughts but don't know what to say, other than we are thankful that God has brought us to this point and we have peace and joy about the days ahead.

I am afraid that Asher is turning into a stinker. :) I have a sneaking suspicion that he is a lot like I was as a child. He has this grin where he slits his eyes and smiles...he knows he is cute, he knows I get a kick out of the spunk in him! I see this played out lately in picture taking...someone wanted to take a picture of him this weekend, and he shut his eyes!! I was snapping some shots of he and Ezra eating breakfast the other day, and he closed his eyes and ate half of his sandwich this way, not even peeking to see if I still had the camera pointed at him (I did!). It is fun to see his unique nature becoming apparent. I look forward to seeing what else is hidden inside this beautiful child!!

Ezra is in craft/creating mode. I have construction paper creations everywhere...my refrigerator is hidden somewhere behind his art gallery. I had purchased different craft items several months ago, but he wasn't interested. In his own time, crafts and creating have become an interest. I enjoy watching his mind work as he draws maps, creates trains and other designs recognizable only in his mind. Ezra is currently a superhero. This is so cute, but it does present some theological problems. Tonight, Delton was explaining that Jesus came to save us. Ezra said that he doesn't need saved. He is a superhero, fights bad guys, and isn't afraid. Delton said that Jesus came to save us from sin. Ezra said that he is not afraid of sin. Where's the guy with a Ph.D in divinity when you have to counter that?

I am almost 22 weeks along in my pregnancy, feeling movement and wondering more and more about who this child will be. The basics - boy or girl- and the not so basic- a red head? a scholar or an athlete? prone to ear aches, allergies, sleep trouble, cuddly or not? I look forward to meeting this child.

The entire back of our house is covered with scaffolding, which is wrapped with huge sheets of plastic. When I look out the window on my kitchen door, I see this plastic, the filth of years of dirt being stripped off bricks, and not much else. There is a tiny hole where two pieces of plastic have been joined together. I peek through that hole to check and see if Delton is home yet. This construction equipment means we have to use the front door. So, I have to park out back, get two boys and various gear through the snow, dirt and equipment, through a narrow walkway between the townhouse which is also being used as storage while the brick work is being done. Soon, my belly will not allow me to squeeze between our grill and the wall. It is definately an adventure!

Life is good...blessings to you!

Ezra and I

Ezra is hiding right now, waiting for daddy to arrive home, waiting to be "found". Delton may not be home for 20 more minutes. Ezra sounds sleepy. "Mommy, I don't want to hide," he just said as he wanders over to me. "Please turn on a movie". Sorry, little mister. Let's play, and I'll give you a heads up when I see daddy's car. I know he would love to find you as much as you would love to be found.

Updated Look

The title of my blog was threatening to become monstrously long...because of ezra, and asher, and......, so I decided to update it. This title came from a note I was writing to my boys today, in a journal I started to record their funny moments and the progress of this pregnancy. I told them that I was so glad to have them, in the midst of the chaos and clutter, the kisses and cuddles.
My musings to them came from a book I picked up this morning and paged through, a book I have read previously. It is called Open Embrace, with the subtitile "A Protestant Couple Rethinks Contraception". While it talks about contraception and NFP, it also, and perhaps primarily, focuses on the joy of having children and God's heart for families.

When Asher was still an infant, I mentioned something to my mom about our timing for a third child. My mom (who has nine children, and is very pro-children), said something to the effect of, "whoa....slow down! Are you feeling pressure to have kids? You can take a break!!" That was something I needed to hear at that time. It gave me the freedom to adjust to two children rather than anticipate the craziness of three. But...my response to her questioning my about "pressure" has stuck with me. I don't feel pressure to have children. By contrast, I would say that the prevailing mindset of today is "wisdom". We want to be wise with our money, so we are going to wait to have children. We want to be wise about planning for our children's future, so we are going to limit it to # many children. We want to be wise about not spreading ourselves too thin, and we think # is enough for us.

In many ways, having children, and not setting a limit, seems to be an oddity...perhaps even faulty thinking on our part. Haven't we thought everything through?

I was thinking through the chaos of my life today. The house has become a monster that is constantly needing attention, attention I usually don't have the energy or time to attend to! Laundry is my constant companion, clean, dirty, folded, unfolded, ironed, wrinkled....and yet, I have no regrets about being a mom, having two children and one on the way, having a limited income and a lack of money for wants, sometimes even necessities. Why? I don't know. It isn't natural, right? If I went out and bought a car and was now feeling a financial squeeze, I would begin to doubt my decision. If my life was crazy because of too many jobs and committments, I would say, "No more! I am done". But children are different. Even in the midst of this season, I am thankful, oh so thankful, for my boys, for the hope of another baby to love. This must be a God thing.
My heart in writing about this is to speak to the person who has heard about "wisdom", but hasn't heard that there is another way. Be free to follow what God is speaking to your heart. More kids? Maybe, maybe not. But if so, know that joy will follow you. Yes, so will chaos and clutter, but the kisses and cuddles will be there as well. If there can be joy in the midst of what my life currently has to offer, then there will be joy in yours as well.

The excitement of Christmas

We have several- many!- Christmas events yet to go this season. I am so excited about each of them. It is so nice to have an opportunity to meet with family and friends and celebrate the joy of the season. Ezra and Asher are at a fun age, so they (especially Ezra) are aware that something different is happening...there is a tree, cards, pictures, lots of red and green, and yummy cookies!
I am looking forward to having our third child. I am so thankful that in a few months I will have another baby in my arms...the mystery of the birth of our Saviour is magnified as I contemplate the amazing miracle taking place within me.

Thankfully, someone walked by and offered to take the picture for us, after our attempts at a self-family portrait were less than successful!

Blessings to you this Christmas season!

A moment in Lehman life, in pictures...